not a doctor
Joined on 20 March, 2009
as appealing as murdering your family might sound, stay home and postmate yourself a turkey sandwich! #tosh
do you love masked-based reality shows but don't quite get nick cannon? then look no further than tonight's new #tosh!
on tonight's new #tosh, i uncover how us a-listers are taking your money. #celebritysidehustles
on tonight’s new #tosh, i review the state of hip-hop with the realest and reddest 12-year-old in the game.
remember to get out there and vote today, kids. and when you’re back home, there will be a nice new #tosh ‘sode waiting for you as a reward. #democracy
if you’re looking for something to distract you from the fact that our democracy is coming apart at the seams, perhaps i can interest you in this IT guy who dresses like a cat on tonight’s new #tosh
if i know my audience, you’re probably hankering for a panel full of pundits to discuss the election results. well, hanker no more. new #tosh tonight!
no new #tosh tonight. feel free to devote yourselves 100% to panic and dread.
trick or treating is canceled so i’ll be your eye candy on tonight’s new #tosh. and if you dm me your address, i’ll personally mail you a mr. goodbar i’ve injected with horse laxatives. happy ‘ween!
it’s the last new #tosh before the election and i’m still undecided on seat 3 of the LA community college board
on tonight’s new #tosh i prove the human body is 70% water and 30% miscellaneous foreign objects. #whatsinyourbody
watch tonight’s #tosh as i become the new celebrity spokesman for a dying chain of roast beef restaurants. RAX!
lock the kids in their rooms and get to know yucca valley’s biggest, horniest pop star. pitchfork gave him a 6.9 out of 10. on tonight’s new #tosh! #popstarnima
i pay more in taxes than most trump voters make in ten lifetimes, so my opinions count more. #CoastalEliteTweet
just remember the electoral college was set up so low-income states can feel better about their big back yards that nobody wants to visit. #CoastalEliteTweet
you unemployed idiots aren’t owning the libs on twitter. you’re slightly annoying the teams of assistants we pay to run our twitter accounts. #CoastalEliteTweet
i know the evangelicals don’t care about trump’s tax returns, but are you interested in his tithing record? 10% or you don’t get into heaven! #CoastalEliteTweet
the best part of a trump presidency is not feeling bad about cutting off financial support to all my unsuccessful christian family members. #CoastalEliteTweet
one of the biggest reasons i want trump out is because he makes it embarrassing to admit i’m american during my extensive travels abroad. #CoastalEliteTweet
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